After El Collie Died

‘Twisted Nights’ – yamabuki
“The new poets still quoted the old poets, 
but no one spoke in verse
of the pregnant woman drowned, 
with perhaps twins in her,
kicking at blank walls
even before birth.”
— “A River
By A. K. Ramanujan
“Hoson zes, phainou 
Meden holos su lupou; 
Pros oligon esti to zen 
To telos ho chronos apaitei” 
“While you live, shine 
Don’t suffer anything at all; 
Life exists only a short while 
And time demands its toll”
— ‘Song of Seikilos‘ 
(Ancient Greek Melody,
c.100 BC)
You see how the colors twist and curl into each other
This is one of my favorite Photoshop tools
I learned to use it in my pictures
After El Collie had died
And I had come back from death’s brink
For another cup of bitter tea
I cried and cried that deathly time
But she had told me I had to stay
I still was not finished with my work
So I created music and pictures
To reconnect me to this crazy life
She had had a dream of dying
In which she crossed over a bridge
I tried to follow her across as well
But half way over I had to go back
She continued on, leaving me behind
We both knew what this dream meant
We looked at it with our magical tools
And then buried it away in the earth
Next to the Palm tree that she had planted
And hoped that we still had more time
Life and death twists and curls
We eat and die, around we go
Coffee and bread are not enough
Not even meat can fill my need
As we continue to follow life’s flow
Death’s angel still follows us all
When I was young I looked at the stars
And as I watched them in the sky
I fell up into them in the swirling night
Yet still I remained in my young body
Only just barely just arrived
Only just awakened to this dream
My mother told me I had cried and cried
As a young baby still new to this world
I could not remember this, but knew what it meant
All the suffering of being born, and dying
Once again the wheel was turning
The Fates were spinning their stories
And we were the threads they wove
Today I had another dream
That woke me from night’s bed
A palm tree had died in the light
Cut off at the knees as I watched
And chopped to pieces with our eyes
Another piece of this twisted dream
Around goes the swirling mist of dreams
This blue and emerald shadow we live in
Eating and breathing each day’s joy
Pulling out the unwanted weeds of pain
Tending our foolish gardens of hope
Can you see why I cried and cried?
April 2011

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